Faith: The mystery of suffering and trustworthiness of God

Suffering is a mystery. It is not explained, but it is affirmed. And we must remember that all of Christianity rests on mysteries.

Suffering is Never for Nothing (p.43)

"Mommy, can I have my TV time now? My 7-year-old asked for her regular 2 20-minute TV show time she usually gets each day. I answered, to her surprise, "no, not now sweetie." I could see the confusion in her eyes. She was let down. It's a small form of suffering, but if it were up to her she would watch TV for 8 hours a day. She's always been particularly susceptible to the hypnotic power of a screen. When i gave her my answer, I knew something she didn't -- her Daddy and I had planned to take her out for dinner and a movie that evening. Despite her lack of understanding, I was deeply touched when I saw her accept my answer (ultimately my authority in the matter). Her disappointment was still there, but, by God's grace, and through many, many shepherding parenting moments prior, she chose a response that honored me. I believe she knows, despite my repeated failings, Mommy is "for" me.

Doubt, anger, fear, anxiety, jealousy. Hard feelings accompany hard circumstances. Feelings are a blessing. God made them. He has them. His creative beauty and genius are displayed in their existence. I don't want to demonize them. But, when they are upgraded to the driver's seat of our hearts, which is a frequent temptation (especially in times of suffering), they quickly become a wicked idol. Feelings, when allowed by the feeler, can be insatiable dictators. If you are a deep-feeler like me I imagine you too personally feel their "overwhelm." We are particularly vulnerable to them sinking us in times of hardship. We are in deep need of God's wisdom. Our hearts are deceptive. Our grief is real. We need God's Word to hold us in times of pain. We need to lament like the psalmists did.

I recently read,

"It is human to cry. It is Christian to lament."

Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy

We should never deny the fact that we feel. But we can, and are called to, surrender these feelings on the altar of obedience. In order to do that, we have to believe that this altar is before the throne of someone who is deeply "for" us! God loves you. He cares about your feelings. But, as we walk with God, we must know that his character trumps our negative feelings. When something trumps something else, it doesn't mean the thing getting trumped isn't there or real. It simply means that the thing doing the trumping is superior. God's character trumps our feelings. This is not a popular message in our day, but to the christian, it should be!

God gets no pleasure out of watching us struggle. He gets tremendous pleasure out of seeing our souls bloom, however, in the midst of a struggle. God is much more concerned with the health of our souls than he is over the health of our bodies or the happiness of our minds or the ease of our day or the comfort of our sleep. It was in the storm with the disciples in Luke 2 that they were aware of their deep need of his salvation “Save us Lord!!!” they cried out. Fight or flight was throttled high in the lower segment of their brainstems. They weren’t debating if they wanted fried or grilled flounder by the campfire later, the men were very much in the present moment, hoping they would survive the next minute! What did that desperation do? It drove them to Jesus!

Surely, the Lord gets exponential more glory when we choose him, proclaim his glory, and surrender our control to his, in the midst of life’s trials and injustices. I imagine him, eyelids gently closed, soaking in the worship of a daughter with tear-stained cheeks, swollen eyes, and a hoarse voice from crying out over and over and over to Him about the burdens of life, and yet finishes her prayers with:

“you are good, I trust you.”

I imagine his cheeks tear-stained too as he receives this faith-filled offering, because he loves us. He loves us enough to give us what we need, not necessarily what we want. He knows all. He holds all time in his hands. Wasn’t this the trend of the psalmist, David, whom the Lord declared was a man after his very own heart? (Acts 13:22)

May our faith have the muscle to plant our heels deep into the promises of His character, than to be swept away from Jesus by the misleading feelings of our hearts.

If you are like me, it's a fairly constant surrendering, hour by hour our anger or greed or jealousy or doubt can tap, again, at our shoulder begging for us to re-engage? Oh good, you can relate! What do we do? We surrender them again on the altar of obedience! Sometimes it's a half-breath prayer because that’s all the time you have in your kitchen as you stir the boiling water while simultaneously answering your kids homework question and holding the phone to your ear as your best friend needs you to hear her urgent prayer need. God sees that. God blesses this kind of minute-by-minute faith. Sticky notes can be a life-line. I post God's truth around my kitchen window sink! It's gritty heart work, but its authentic and it will feed your soul - that precious soul of yours that is really dying for more of Him!

Our faith isn't meant to be tied up in a neat little bow - it's a messy, authentic, intentional, curved line of "leaning in."

When we cannot understand our circumstances, we pray anyway. Maybe God will change them! Goodness knows, I have some in my life I long for him to change. And believe me, I ask. But even if he doesn't, he is trustworthy and he is doing something. It is the Lord, his very character, that is our hope!

He is trustworthy. And he really will do what he promises, including his encouragement to us in Romans 8:28 that he is working all things together for good for those that love him and are called according to his purposes. He is in the business of making things beautiful again.

Acts 3 speaks of a man who had been lame from birth. As Peter and John were walking into the temple, he asked them for money, as he did all the passerby's entering the temple. Peter told the man, he had no riches to give him but what he did have he would offer to him. Peter says "In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk!" (Acts 3:6). The man leaped up, walking and praising God. He went into the temple with Peter and John. Can you imagine?!? It's his turn to go into the temple. Everyday this man sat at the gate entrance of the temple, stationary, by no choice of his own, but outside limitations placed on him. It was at the gate called "Beautiful", this same gate he had sat at crippled for years, that the Lord healed him! It is no coincidence it was at the gate called "Beautiful."

The Lord is doing something beautiful in your life. It is what he does. Even if it doesn't feel beautiful, you can trust him with your pain because he is in the business of redemption!

Saturday night, my husband and I took my daughter to the movie, Migration. She got to eat chicken fingers and french fries, her most beloved meal, delivered to her movie theater seat. We laughed and had a fun time as a family. She now understood why she didn't get to watch TV earlier that day. But even if she didn't get a movie theater experience that evening, I pray she would have trusted my affectionate love for her in whatever the reason for my "no" to that day's TV time. I would never withhold from her. She is my daughter!

May we say with Elisabeth Elliot, “I’m convinced that there are a good many things in this life that we really can’t do anything about but that God wants to do something with.” Suffering is Never for Nothing (p. 7)

Will you, will I, like Elisabeth Elliot, trust that God is doing something here and we can trust him? We are his daughters!

What do you need to trust the Lord with today? He is trustworthy, even in the mysteries of life.