"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
Galations 2:20
"Catherine, will you go where God tells you to go, and will you do what God tells you to do?"
"Yes" I reply, soberly, recognizing, in part, the depth of the question being asked.
"Ok, then, I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and they Holy Spirit. Buried with Christ in baptism, raised to walk in newness of life."
Wet, sopping, 28-year-old Catherine climbed out of the small, waist-high pool of water and wrapped in a towel, shivering with excitement. My drenched tee reading, "Jesus in my place", clung, soaked to my skin, as I felt my soul clinging to Jesus. Or, perhaps, better put, Jesus clinging to my soul.
Down into the waters I had gone.
Down. Down. Down.
No longer standing upright, but being held horizontal, as if I were being layed flat in a grave. And, isn't that exactly what I was doing? Dead people get laid in graves. The buried no longer have their own will nor control. They are after all, dead. The descent down into the water...a powerful symbol that I was dying to Catherine...
her wants - dead
her dreams - dead
her preferences - dead
her money (not that there was much) - dead
her body image issues - dead
her unforgiveness - dead
her lingering anger - dead
her justice - dead
her comfort - dead
her safety - dead
her wanting the approval of man - dead
I am now dead. Catherine's kingdom has now surrendered to Jesus' kingdom, the perfect God-man who laid down his innocent life for me. Her kingdom *shouldn't* exist anymore.
The waters spilled over my face, engulfing my whole body, like a big, full blanket, overtaking my whole self. The cleansing waters of Christ. Amen, hallelujah, I need the cleansing waters of Christ. Though that wet could never scrub away the evidence of my dark heart - my manure-stained hands, my soot-covered face, my tattoos of evil...they all cry "guilty" over my life.
But, BUT, my Jesus, the perfect Lamb, the Holy One who was slaughtered in my place, He can remove it all as if it never even was. He has now overtaken me.
I am washed in Christ, I am forever and only His, perfectly righteous in the eyes of God.
Rising up, because of Jesus, from death to life. The old Catherine is dead. I am new. My soul has been brought from death to life. I am risen, anew having been cleansed by the holy blood of my Savior. The life I now live, I live to Christ.
His Holy Spirit, a gift to me. One of the greatest gifts of my life. The One who is constantly near to help me stay dead to Catherine's kingdom and walk in the ways of Christ.
Death. Cleansing. Newness.
This baptism, a declaration to the world of this inward miracle.
Now and forevermore, my life is Christs', not Catherine's.
How about you?
Have you surrendered your kingdom...yourself?
In dying to self, real life is found in service to others all for the purpose of the glory of King Jesus.
J O Y
P U R P O S E
P E A C E
can be found, even in the world's most unglamorous circumstances, which is often where he calls his people.
Guilt is gone. Shame is no more. Grace is found.
Death comes at a cost, but it's the only way to real life.
Are you following Christ and living? Am I?
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, our Example, our Provision, our Rescuer - help us to die to ourselves and live to you. In you, we are fully known and fully accepted. What can man do to us? May we go where you tell us to go, and do what you tell us to do, and really live. We damn the fear in our hearts and our own selfish wills that idolize comfort and control knowing these things are not from you. In Jesus' name, Amen
Nehemiah 8:10
"The joy of the Lord is my strength."
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