Few things humble us as much as waiting on the Lord. There is a weight that we carry on the shoulders of our soul that stems from the longings that persist in our day-to-day lives. That weight of these waits has the ability to drive us to our knees in messy prayer as the green-lights of life do not happen like we'd like.
Waiting humbles us because it highlights our incapabilities to "get it done" like we want to. If you (like me!) are a type-A personality, waiting will only intensify our temptation to "take the bull by the horns" in a more aggressive way to get-er-done, or to pout, throw our hands up, and have our own adult-version-temper-tantrum when we don't get what we want when we want it. Embarrassing to admit, but true.
Our Western culture worships speed, efficiency and excellence -- repellants of the humility uncovered in life's waiting rooms. To wait is to acknowledge our powerlessness over parts of a situation we long to be different. The higher the stakes of that which we are waiting for, the harder it is to sit still and trust The One at the helm of our wait.
Waiting for your child feels like high stakes. It is difficult to wait...with no end in sight. To all the adoptive Mamas, you know.
I think back to the story of the Resurrection. Easter Sunday comes joyfully because Good Friday was so dark. There were three full, long days between Jesus' death and his rising from the dead. Those three days may seem inconsequential to us who are on this side of the Cross with the New Testament sitting in our laps and our warm cup of coffee on the table beside us. But to Jesus' disciples and followers in his day, I'm sure those three days felt like an eternity! The stakes were enormously high, the redemption of the souls of all mankind, including their own. I would imagine doubt-filled questions flooded their heads and anxious glances sprinkled their table conversations. A keen awareness hovered about them of all the hopes they couldn't control as they sat waiting and wondering if their Savior was going to perform a miracle that only He could do. They had to have faith, if not, then all hope was lost!
Waiting BEGS faith to pull a chair up to the table and sit close!
Waiting says, "I can't but You, Father, can.
Faith says, if you aren't doing 'it' RIGHT NOW Lord then it must be for good reason. I TRUST YOU."
It's a well known fact that international adoption is a very slow, emotional process with arduous amounts of waiting. When you are waiting to bring home your child, BIG feelings show up in our hearts. The lack of control the adoptive family has over the bureaucracy of foreign governments is a true lesson in surrender to the Sovereignty of God on our yielded-heart days, and maddening on our flesh-filled days.
Language barriers/translation of long, detailed documentss, foreign holidays that close government offices for a week at a time in many instances, unexpected delays in paperwork, these are a few of the hiccups that accompany the long, expensive, worth-it process of international adoption. These instances and the wait of each step of the adoption process remind us again and again that we are not in control. You can be Johny-on-the-spot with all of the paperwork requested from you, but that doesn't mean the recipient of that paperwork will be. "That" document that you got for your agency in a 24-hour-turnaround time could get mailed to the requester and sit on his desk for 3 months collecting dust. Sigh.
Control...no control.
Control and comfort, two of the deepest idols of every human heart. Control trusts self and comfort worships self. Control is what you are made keenly aware that you do not have in the international adoption process. You have no reliable time frames. You may wait for two months, you may wait for five years. There is a constant-ness to the limbo of the unknown. It is such a challenge because I wannnnnnnnt control. I want to know. I want my ducks in a row.
The opposite of control is trust. I can fight my desire for control with choosing to rest in my trustworthy God. Yielding. Do I trust in the goodness and sovereignty of my Heavenly Father over this international adoption? Do you trust him with your waiting season? It may seem like an annoying and simplistic question when you have been longing for something so precious for so long, but I can ask it to you, waiting Mama, because I am beside you in this.
Are we trusting His timing in the waiting room that feels like it is somehow never going to end?
We have been in this international adoption from Colombia for 3 years and 10 months at the time this blog post is being written. I would have thought our child would have been home for nearly 2 years at this point. Nope. Here we are, almost 4 years in, with no referral. Some days I find myself wondering if this adoption will ever really happen. We began the process of adopting from South Africa exactly one year after we brought our daughter home from Ethiopia in 2018. Covid-19 made its appearance into the world a year and a half into that process and our adoption agency encouraged us to consider switching countries as the pandemic had stalled all adoption proceedings in South Africa for an extended period of time. My husband and I prayed about it and decided that we could change from South Africa to Colombia as the orphan crisis there is also severe and things were moving forward with adoptions. We have had our paperwork approved in Colombia for 1 year and 9 months. No referral. Just crickets, day in, day out. No updates. There is a weight to this wait.
When you sit in your home, dreaming of the day the referral comes and the match is made, and day after day it does not come....defeat will tempt you to question the sovereignty of God's hand in your situation. Is this ever going to happen? Maybe the orphan crisis in Colombia isn't as bad as we thought? Did God really tell us to do this? I wonder what my child is doing right now? Is she warm enough? Is she fed? Is she being touched with loving, nurturing hands or with evil, destructive hands? These are some of the thoughts firing through the head of a mother sitting on the other side of the ocean feeling handcuffed by the process. But....
Though I may be handcuffed, though you may be handcuffed by your circumstance, our God is NOT handcuffed!
Below are some versus that we can cling to together as we wait for the Lord to give us the green-light to unite our families as He sees fit.
His timing is perfect. His timing is holy. Do we trust him?
Let's cling to his precious Word together that reminds us that he is right and trustworthy in all of his ways. I trust him. He knows our mama hearts. He sees our babies that are not in our arms. He is doing something here in the waiting. We can trust him!
Keep fighting for faith in the One who is trustworthy.
Verses to cling to as you fight for faith in your waiting room that doesn't seem to have an exit:
Psalm 20:7 "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God."
Proverbs 16:9 “ In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
2 Peter 3:8-9 “ But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”
Lamentations 3:25-26 “The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Psalm 31:15a "My times are in Your hand"
Isaiah 55:8 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord"
1 Peter 5:6 "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time."
Psalm 130:5 "I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait, and in His word do I hope."
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