We aren't sure we can do it exactly the way we want to do it, or the way we think it "should be" done, so we don't even try. We don't even start. We don't even start small.
Perfectionism creates roadblocks in our hearts.
We make one little mistake, but it feels much larger than it actually is. We make a big mistake, but we don't acknowledge the bravery it took to try something new, foreign, and different. Oh no, we don't acknowledge the bravery, instead, we just call ourselves failures and give up completely.
Children's anxiety rates are at an all-time high. Likewise, adult anxiety rates are the highest they have ever been in the United States.
Perfectionism makes us fearful and unadventurous.
I've been thinking recently, that maybe,
just maybe....
growing in Christian maturity involves becoming a more gracious person both to others and to ourselves.
Start Small.
I want to be coined as someone who is "others-centric." I love that phrase and I believe that it is the way Jesus was -- Eyes on others, not on self. But maybe it's time we let true humility sink in deep, like bone-marrow level deep, and, as we acknowledge our deep need for God, we realize that He never expected us to be perfect in the first place -- so why are we trying to keep a man-made, impossible standard? Isn't that why Jesus came -- to be the perfect sacrifice that we weren't qualified to be?
I would never say (at least not out loud) that I think I am supposed to be perfect. I don't think that! Or wait, do I? Do my actions say that? Do my thoughts say that? What is this anxiety I am feeling? An honest look inside would say that I find myself living that way at times, no matter what I might say.
Perfectionism is a sister of anxiety.
True humility acknowledges that we have limits and flaws as human beings. We are not sovereign, limitless, or sinless. We should expect to let people down and then we can point them (and ourselves) to the open arms of Jesus when we do.
The measure of grace we show ourselves is often the measure of grace we show to others. Likewise, the opposite is also true, the measure of judgment we show ourselves is often the same harshness we show others.
Perfectionism is a cruel master.
I'm not encouraging ambivalence or cheap grace towards others, but what I am trying to say is that: the more we embrace the Lord's compassion and patience personalized toward us - the more we will show those same virtues to ourselves and acknowledge our deep need for the Lord. You start to see yourself through God's eyes. And things look much more hopeful and kind because that's how He looks at you. And then, in his beautiful design, it flows outward.
Perfectionism robs you of seeing yourself the way God sees you.
Here are just a few of the ways embracing imperfectionism has brought life to me in recent months...
~Starting a business, even though I don't know how to make an Instagram reel or an LLC.
~Make the call to the friend, even if I only have the 10-minute car ride and not an hour of uninterrupted time I feel I need to really be able to fully catch up.
~Owning the "I'm sorry" when I acted selfishly, and then going forward in God's grace that was bought at a high price for me through Jesus.
~Writing for the 20-minute window of time I have, when I'm tempted to believe I need a 2-hour block of time to "really" write.
~Praying for 2 minutes when I find myself alone and the house is unexpectedly quiet, even though I haven't spent the time in the Word today like I wanted to.
~Pausing and noticing the way the sun's beams are hitting the autumn orange leaves when my to-do list is screaming for my attention.
Here's my heart for myself and for you, dear reader, behind this blog post:
Don't let the toxicity of perfectionism stop you from doing what the Lord is calling you to do, both in the little life moments and the big ones too.
Comparison is the thief of joy, and we live in a comparison-sick world. Comparison is a fertilizer for discontentment and it squashes gratitude. Social media has a sneaky way of tempting us to compare ourselves to others. Be careful how much time you spend consuming those tiny little squares of other people's "perfect".
Perfectionism is the by-product of comparison.
We are broken. We are redeemed. We are full of good ideas from an amazing Creator. We have callings. Let's go live them! And let's let the "I don't knows" and the doubts and the fears of failure go. You do you with what the Lord has called you to do - and to his glory! No one else is YOU! And no one else has the talents and callings and exact circumstances that YOU have.
YOU are special.
You have so much uniqueness to offer this hurting world! God made you for a purpose. Stop comparing yourself to other people's purposes and show up to your reality. And when perfectionism creeps in and tries to tell you that you aren't good enough or that you aren't doing it right - kick it in the teeth and go to the Lord and let Him minister to you.
And then...carry on...in grace because
Imperfectionism leads to a sacred embrace with grace.
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